I got married when I was 35 years old. Although it was a bit late, I have always felt confident and lived a healthy life without thinking too much. However, in the third year of my marriage, I had the symptoms that may be menopause. After doing the blood tests in the hospital, it was found that the value of my ovarian function (AMH) was too low, and it was diagnosed as premature ovarian failure. After the doctor's explanation, I couldn't accept the conclusion at all, so I went to another hospital for examination. Unfortunately, I got the same explanation. The doctor said: "According to your current situation, it is difficult to have children. If you don’t want to give up in any case, you can consider finding an egg donor from overseas to have children." ”It must be something wrong?!" I thought. Then in the next 3 following years, I was treated for infertility between different hospitals.

At the beginning, a few eggs could be retrieved, but most of them could not be fertilized. Then gradually no more eggs could be retrieved. Despite this situation, I realized that if I had given up at this point, I would definitely have no chance to have a baby in my life. Therefore, even if I knew it was nearly hopeless, I just couldn't stop walking toward the hospital. One day, the doctor said to me, "I can no longer do anything for you." After being told like this, I could not stop crying everyday.

At that time, when I was outside, I couldn't take my eyes off those families with children. When I was at home, I felt a lot of pain even if I just heard the crying of babies or saw advertisements with parents and children on TV. I did not know how to live through such hard days. I believe there are many people who can live very well and meaningfully without children. Maybe everyone’s desireness to have children is at different degrees, and I am one of those who desperately want children.

In fact, I also had tried to imagine what if I had no choice but to live a life without children. Maybe it was a good idea to travel overseas frequently, do whatever I want, or buy a luxury car, etc. However, deep in my mind, I understand that these are none of what I really want. No matter how hard I try to imagine life without children, my mind just went blank.

Some people said, "If you want a child so much, you can adopt it." But what I want is me and my husband's child, or at least my husband's child, so that my husband can become a father. Finding an egg donor had been in my mind since the first time I heard about it. “If I give birth myself, there must be some kind of connection between me and the child.”I think.

Later, in order to persuade me and my husband’s parents, I explained to them that I wanted to do egg donor-recipient treatment. "Is it necessary to do this? Why do you want a baby so much?" I was opposed and asked to explain why. Frankly speaking, even myself did not know why I wanted children so much, and I still couldn’t explain it. I have told myself several times, "It is enough to try so far, give it up! Just accept life without children!" I also have tried hard to practice it, but it still hasn't worked. In fact, I really hoped someone could tell me how to give up. If I gave up, would I be free from pain? Would I be able to find a different goal in my life?

Finally, after negotiation for many times, now me and my husband’s parents feel joyful to have grandchildren.

I have been really happy since I knew that I was pregnant. I can now face the scene of a family with children peacefully. Before pregnancy, it was suffering. I have no regrets about being an egg recipient! Rather, if I had made up my mind earlier, I thought it could be more leeway in terms of age and money. Looking at the cute face of the child every day, I am grateful. Thank you so much, my baby, for coming to our home! I, your mom, will make you happy! Although I am very busy every day, I still feel very happy. Thank you very much for realizing my dream that had been unreachable.

What will happen to my relationship with my child when he learns the whole story? Honestly speaking, I was worried about it and read a lot of critical opinions on the internet. It may be painful to my child, however, I can only keep on living like this and do my best to make my child happy. I won’t stop telling how much I love him even if I am resented and blamed. 

I believe couples who are now undergoing infertility treatment feel anxious and pain. Each couple’s desire for a child and their motivation are at a different degree. Maybe some people regret being egg recipients, but I think it is enough to make a decision after careful consideration. At the very beginning, considering my feelings, my husband told me, "It doesn't matter if we don't have any child." But now he is a father who loves his child and shows off everywhere, even makes people embarrassed and surprised. It turns out that a person can change that much. I thought he must have wanted to have a child very much.

Egg donation saved my life.

The pre-implantation screening (PGS/PGT-A) also makes me relieved.The donor was very young, but I still worried about the quality of the sperm since my husband was not young anymore. My husband and I have suffered from infertility for a very long time, so we decided if I got pregnant, I would give birth to the child despite any abnormalities. However, if we could choose an embryo with normal chromosomes for implantation, it would be more reassuring. If I was always worried about the fetus' health, it must not be good for the fetus. We had three embryos chromosomes tested, and one of them was found to be abnormal. It was a correct decision to do the PGS test.

I am grateful to the egg donor, the doctors and all the staff of Stork Fertility Center. Stork Fertility Center gave me this precious baby, let my husband become a father and let me become a mother who gives birth and raises children. I really appreciate it.

    No matter what painful things happen in the future, it will be nothing compared to life without children. I will definitely treasure my child and raise him preciously. I promise to do my best to make him happy.

    Really appreciated.